Why Is It So Hard to Forgive? A Holiday Reflection Inspired by Genesis 50

During the holiday season, families prepare to gather—around tables, in living rooms, and in sacred spaces. Laughter will echo, memories will be shared, and traditions will be honored. But for some, these warm gatherings are cooled by unspoken tensions, old wounds, or estrangement caused by words once said and never forgotten. In these moments, the question echoes in our hearts: Why is it so hard to forgive?

The Weight of the Past

Forgiveness is often difficult because it requires us to release something we’ve held tightly — hurt, disappointment, or even a sense of justice. When someone wounds us, especially someone close, the pain can burrow deep. We replay the moment, rehearse the offense, and sometimes, without realizing it, allow that pain to shape our future interactions. We build walls instead of bridges, choosing distance over vulnerability.

But Scripture offers us a better way.

Joseph’s Example: A Portrait of Grace

In Genesis 50, we find a powerful story of forgiveness. Joseph, once betrayed by his brothers and sold into slavery, had every reason to seek revenge. Years later, after rising to power in Egypt, he had the opportunity to do just that. When their father Jacob died, Joseph’s brothers feared the worst. They assumed Joseph had only withheld his anger out of respect for their father and that now, vengeance would come.

But Joseph’s response was stunning. He wept. Not with anger, but with compassion. He said to them:

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” — Genesis 50:20

Joseph didn’t just forgive—he reassured them. He promised to provide for them and their children. He chose gentleness over judgment, compassion over condemnation. His forgiveness wasn’t just a personal act; it was a blessing that rippled through generations.

Forgiveness as a Gift—To Others and Ourselves

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending the hurt never happened. It means choosing not to let that hurt define us or dictate our future. It means trusting that God can redeem even the most painful chapters of our story.

When we forgive, we reflect the heart of God. We become conduits of grace, just as Joseph was. And in doing so, we influence those around us—not with bitterness, but with healing.

The Holiday Challenge

This holiday season, as you prepare to gather with loved ones, consider the possibility that someone at the table—or someone missing from it—needs your forgiveness. Maybe it’s a sibling who said something years ago. Maybe it’s a parent who didn’t show up the way you needed. Maybe it’s just needing to let go of the past and look forward to a better future.

Today’s scripture about Joseph and his brothers reminds us: what others meant for harm, God can use for good. Don’t let past discomfort rob the joy of the holidays. Extend a smile, and you may receive one in return. Offer kindness and watch how it multiplies.

Final Encouragement

Life will throw us curveballs. There will be misunderstandings, betrayals, and seasons of silence. But through it all, we are called to live with eternity in mind. Someday, we will be with the Lord in paradise, where every tear will be wiped away. Until then, let us live as people of grace.

So today, with God, choose to forgive. Choose to bless. Choose to love. And as you do, may your heart be light, your table full, and your life set free to be all God meant you to be.